Quotations

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Andy Rooney Quotes

«All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.»
«The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.»
«The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.»
«There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?»
«I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.»
«If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one»
«Anyone who lies golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.»
«The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.»
«The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.»
«Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves»

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