Quotations

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Erma Bombeck Quotes

«Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.»
Author: Erma Bombeck
«God created man, but I could do better.»
Author: Erma Bombeck
«A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory -- an empty bottle of gin.»
Author: Erma Bombeck
«Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | Keywords: keep up
«Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.»
«A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | Keywords: diet, fat
«Never order food in excess of your body weight.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Food | Keywords: body weight
«It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.»
Author: Erma Bombeck
«House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.»
«Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.»

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