Quotations

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Garrison Keillor Quotes

«Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.»
«A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.»
«I want to resume the life of a shy person.»
«Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.»
«Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either»
Author: Garrison Keillor | About: Pity, Sin | Keywords: deadly sin, deadly sins, nostalgia
«A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.»
«Secret of life is to go through something harrowing that doesn't kill you...and to love one woman for the rest of your life.»
«Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve»
Author: Garrison Keillor | Keywords: lake, Lake Wobegon
«Mark Twain told jokes, but they somehow stayed funny for a hundred years; they're still funny today. When Mark Twain said, 'He was a good man in the worst sense of the word,' we know exactly what he's talking about. When he said 'Wagner's music is not as bad as it sounds,' it still is funny. Mark Twain was really a miracle.»
«I'm not busy, ... A woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.»

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