Quotations

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Jay Leno Quotes

«Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a scary proposition when you think about it. I mean his dad picked Dan Quayle, an he isn't as smart as his dad.»
«They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!»
«President Bush agreed today to allow more weapons inspectors in Iraq. As I understand he has 250,000 of them ready to go.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | Keywords: agreed, inspector, inspectors
«In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune.»
«America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms. I can see why: you got computer sex, you can download pornography, people are making dates with 10 year-olds. Hey, what's this? A Pepsi ad? They're ruining the integrity of the Internet!»
«President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to spend time away from Washington. Or at least that's what Dick Cheney told him.»
«Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'»
«Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.»
«Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | About: Mothers | Keywords: Beverly, Beverly Hills, dad, hills
«Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought stock in it.' Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.»

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