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Baby and I
«I was the fattest baby in Clark County, Arkansas. They put me in the newspaper. It was like a prize turnip.»
Author: Billy Bob Thornton
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Keywords:
Arkansas,
baby,
Baby and I,
Clark,
counties,
county,
fattest,
newspaper,
prize,
prizing,
turnip,
turnips
«I said I would get better with each baby, and I have.»
«When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies»
Author: James Matthew Barrie
(
Dramatist,
Novelist)
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Keywords:
a thousand,
baby,
Baby and I,
beginning,
broke,
Fairies,
for the first time,
go to pieces,
laugh,
laughed,
pieces,
Piece By Piece,
skipped,
skipping,
skips,
The Beginning,
the first,
thousand,
went
«Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, so. What did you think?»
Author: Steven Wright
(
Comedian)
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Keywords:
babies,
Baby and I,
bizarre,
came,
coincidence,
coincidences,
deathbed,
deathbeds,
eighties,
eighty,
families,
hospital,
later,
lay,
lay away,
lay in,
looked,
One Family,
one of them,
The Hospital,
took,
to each other
«Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.»
«The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating......and you finish off as an orgasm.»
Author: George Carlin
(
Actor,
Author,
Comedian)
|
About:
Humor,
Life
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Keywords:
alcohol,
at parties,
baby,
Baby and I,
backwards,
back end,
back off,
be old enough,
bonus,
bonuses,
cycle,
cycles,
cycle on,
cycling,
died young,
do drugs,
drugged,
drugging,
drugs,
ends,
End of time,
finish,
finish off,
floated,
floating,
forties,
forty,
get at,
get it,
Get Ready,
get tough,
gold,
go back,
go to,
grade,
graded,
grades,
grade school,
grading,
high,
Higher Grade,
high life,
high school,
high time,
kicked,
kick off,
kick out,
kick up,
kid,
Kid The,
live in,
mean life,
months,
nine,
Nine Lives,
Nine Months,
old age,
old gold,
old school,
old times,
orgasm,
orgasms,
Our Party,
out-of-the-way,
Out of the Womb,
party,
Partying,
ready,
responsibilities,
retirement,
school,
school year,
spend,
take time off,
Taking Off,
think back,
time off,
tough,
Tough Enough,
unfair,
watch,
womb,
work off
«I learned to walk as a baby and I haven't had a lesson since.»
«That place is my baby and I would prostitute myself for it»