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Husbands
«American husbands are the best in the world; no other husbands are so generous to their wives, or can be so easily divorced»
«Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender»
«But all husbands are geese, though our pride it may shock, From the first 'twas ordained so by Nature I fear; Ould Adam himself was the first of the flock, And Eve, with her apple sauce, cooked him, my dear»
«Husbands are like fires - they go out when they're left unattended.»
«A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.»
«A good husband is never the first to go to sleep at night or the last to awake in the morning.»
«A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.»
«All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated a little»
«A bachelor has to have inspiration for making love to a woman, a married man needs only an excuse»
«God, give me a rich husband though he be an ass»